Notable Cast: Effin’ Nobody
Review: Right off the bat you can make a few assumptions about this film just by looking at the credits. For starters, it’s presented by Lloyd Kaufman, the mastermind behind so many B-movies over the ages he basically redefined the genre. Also, it’s a Troma production, so you can count on a few constants: there will be a horrible production value, terrible acting, over the top plots lines, and probably some unnecessary nudity. And wouldn’t you know it. Bingo! In the town of Riverville, an Ancient Egyptian cat god starts turning cats into beautiful females with the objective of mating and sacrificing their partner to prepare for the “Great Litter.” The only hope the town has is a local cat tracker and a hitch hiker, who figure out the mystery and take to hunting down the evil cat women. Only Troma would green light such absurdity. There was actually a review online where the author stated “This movie begins with promise. The cinematography is fresh and interesting, and initially the plot seems good.” Well if by fresh and interesting you mean completely low-budget, grainy, and blurred: then by all means it is fresh and interesting. Not to mention all the night scenes were just shot using a dark blue filter on the camera, making them even harder to watch and look that much worse. Teenage Catgirls In Heat seriously looks like it was shot in the 70′s if even. And sure, I would say the plot seems FUN…not good. Good would be Inception, Memento, and Moon. FUN would be Crank, Black Sheep, and Escape From New York. This is just freaky. There are some pretty funny parts scattered around though. Apparently, for the cats to turn into people, they have to commit suicide. What this results in is multiple shots of stuffed cats jumping off everything from bridges, houses, telephone wires, to mountains. It even starts raining stuffed cats at one point and there is a montage of falling animals and random meows. The rest of the film though were subjected to horrible overacting by the male leads and some weird shots of the woman “training” to be cat warriors. And, again because it’s Troma, every time a cat turns, the woman of course is shown tastelessly naked. As the movie progresses, the cats try to do human things but just end up pawing and meowing. For example, there’s a whole scene of them sitting around a living room naked just covered in yarn meowing. That’s it. In short, if you’re into hot/naked women pretending to be cats, Teenage Catgirls In Heat is right up your alley. But of course it’s horrible nature rears its ugly head at the culmination, which is completely disappointing and ruins what little momentum the film was able to muster (if any). It feels like the film just ran out of what little money it had and just wrapped it up right there. I have to give the film a 1/5 just based on cinematic prowess alone, but for the die-hard B-movie fan, I’d say you’ve been warned and to watch at your own risk. But for the sane of mind, just don’t judge me please?
How many shitty cat punts can one trailer make? Too many. Disclaimer: Don’t get excited, this trailer bills the movie as a porno basically, but that is completely wrong. Be warned, there is nudity, but no visible sex scenes at all except for the one in the trailer (which is rather hilarious).
Netflix Rating: 1/5